Carry on cruising
Do women cruise? In a recent Guardian article, Jaq Bayles suggested that, whilst lesbians haven't historically done so, now a "new generation of women are having erotic adventures".
It's all apparently to do with what Erica Jong described as the "zipless fuck" – no-strings sex.
But it's unfortunate that Bayles limits her thoughts to lesbians, because bisexual women have been at it for years.
Okay, it might not actually be wandering around Hampstead Heath waiting to grab a stranger and shag them silly behind a bush, but there are places in the UK, and London in particular, where it's possible for a woman to safely go and enjoy 'recreational sex' with other women or with men.
There is more than one reason for this lack of recognition.
There's a certain kudos in gay cruising – that it's part of the culture, it's liberating and different from 'straight' sexual behaviour – and that seems to be seeping into any discussion about lesbian cruising.
On the other hand, some lesbians are still reluctant to recognise bisexual women – and 'sleeping with the enemy' doesn't really count as 'cruising', just as being a cheap slag and a sell-out.
Not forgetting the whole 'cuddles-and-camomile-tea' view of lesbianism that some women seem to have – as if it doesn't actually involved sweaty sex with bodily fluids.
And then there are the hetero women who seem to think that women cannot have such sexually liberated lives.
A few years ago, I was at a social event, chatting with another woman about Catherine Millet's memoir, The Sexual Life of Catherine M. My acquaintance, who rather enjoyed being able to say that she'd read the book in the original French, noted that she'd have loved to be able to explore sex as Millet had, but went on to insist that women simply could not play around in such a way. She never did explain why.
Well, plenty of 'straight' and bisexual women 'cruise'. For women, there are, of course, even more safety issues than there might be for gay men, so you won't find many of them in old cemetaries or in the park, but in saunas or clubs or at parties.
Some people might refer to it as 'swinging', but it's all much of a muchness.
And these women do what they do in spite of the attitudes of a society that still sees such things as 'bad'.
Perhaps lesbians are just starting to catch up.
It's all apparently to do with what Erica Jong described as the "zipless fuck" – no-strings sex.
But it's unfortunate that Bayles limits her thoughts to lesbians, because bisexual women have been at it for years.
Okay, it might not actually be wandering around Hampstead Heath waiting to grab a stranger and shag them silly behind a bush, but there are places in the UK, and London in particular, where it's possible for a woman to safely go and enjoy 'recreational sex' with other women or with men.
There is more than one reason for this lack of recognition.
There's a certain kudos in gay cruising – that it's part of the culture, it's liberating and different from 'straight' sexual behaviour – and that seems to be seeping into any discussion about lesbian cruising.
On the other hand, some lesbians are still reluctant to recognise bisexual women – and 'sleeping with the enemy' doesn't really count as 'cruising', just as being a cheap slag and a sell-out.
Not forgetting the whole 'cuddles-and-camomile-tea' view of lesbianism that some women seem to have – as if it doesn't actually involved sweaty sex with bodily fluids.
And then there are the hetero women who seem to think that women cannot have such sexually liberated lives.
A few years ago, I was at a social event, chatting with another woman about Catherine Millet's memoir, The Sexual Life of Catherine M. My acquaintance, who rather enjoyed being able to say that she'd read the book in the original French, noted that she'd have loved to be able to explore sex as Millet had, but went on to insist that women simply could not play around in such a way. She never did explain why.
Well, plenty of 'straight' and bisexual women 'cruise'. For women, there are, of course, even more safety issues than there might be for gay men, so you won't find many of them in old cemetaries or in the park, but in saunas or clubs or at parties.
Some people might refer to it as 'swinging', but it's all much of a muchness.
And these women do what they do in spite of the attitudes of a society that still sees such things as 'bad'.
Perhaps lesbians are just starting to catch up.
posted by Amanda Kendal at 9:08 pm
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