Just stick to the booze
Congratulations to Italy on being crowned world champions for the fourth time last night. And as football's Coupe du monde reached its climax, Berlin's prostitutes were probably cheering the Azzurri on and looking forward to theirs.
According to web news site www.ananova.com, the Italian fans have been the best punters.
When hosts Germany lost their semi-final to Italy, Haki Simsek, the owner of Artemis, Germany's largest brothel, said: "I know I shouldn't be happy, but it's the best result imaginable for business.
"The Italians love coming here, they are great customers and we are all so happy they are in the final."
Artemis worker Svetlana noted: "It's been a total flop. The fans are all celebrating with beer instead of sex."
But for her colleague Marlene, the Italian fans had saved the day. "After a win they are in a great mood and love celebrating with us, and after a bad game they need comforting."
There'll have been plenty of celebrating after last night – although whether disgraced French star Zinedine Zidane needed comforting or some strict discipline is open to debate.
But imagine if you will, what would happen in similar circumstances in the UK.
Given that Home Office minister Fiona Mactaggart declared a policy of "zero tolerance" toward prostitution last year, likening it to "a form of child abuse" on the grounds that "most women who are prostitutes started being prostitutes at the age of 13 or 14", she would presumably launch a crusade to 'rescue' Marlene and Svetlana, whilst prosecuting Simsek and all the customers.
"Frankly," Mactaggart told a Guardian interviewer, "I do not buy the view that it is the oldest profession and we have to live with it."
She had already made it clear that, amongst other punishments, kerbcrawlers themselves can have their driving licences revoked.
But this is no one-sided attack. In April, Hansard reported Home Office minister Hazel Blears refusing to rule out the possibility of ASBOs (Anti-Social Behaviour Orders) being used against working women.
Now, to be fair to the government, it has suggested that it might legalise brothels. Well, "brothel" in the loosest sense of the word, meaning a flat or house where two women work. No more, of course, because that would become like... errr, a brothel.
Let's get this straight, then. No 'brothels' for more than two women. No working the streets. No 'tolerance zones'. Euphemistically-named 'massage parlours' to be targeted.
That leaves the…
Correct. Under ground. And then, when the government has driven the sex industry there, it can presumably claim that it's achieved what nobody else in history has, by getting rid of prostitution altogether. That'll be a bit like getting rid of Saddam, right?
How this is going to make the sex industry safer for women (male prostitutes never get mentioned, so presumably their safety isn't a matter of concern), never mind the punters, is anybody's guess.
According to statistics from the United Nations, for the years 1998-2000, the UK is in 13th spot on a global list of reported rapes per capita, with the highest level anywhere in western Europe at 0.142172 rapes per 1,000 people. Germany, with its legal brothels, is at 24 with 0.0909731 per 1,000 people. At 46, with 0.0402045 per 1,000 people, is Italy, whose football fans are such great customers, but who, in Mactaggart's world, are practically child abusers and, presumably, have no respect for women.
And to add to the picture, at 22 in the chart lies the Netherlands, that modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah, with 0.100445 rapes per 1,000 people.
Are puritanical attitudes toward sex and the sex industry a contributory factor in the high level of rape? Is it a coincidence that countries with more liberal attitudes are lower down the list?
If the government really wants to protect women, they'd do better to legalise and licence the sex industry, instead of pandering to the 'moral' minority and the shrill voices of the Daily Mail and the Express. But don't hold your breath.
So, unless British puritanism takes a Zidane-like butt to the midriff in the meantime, Italian sporting connoisseurs attending the 2012 Olympics will have to restrict their celebrations to the traditional English hobbies of boozing and brawling.
According to web news site www.ananova.com, the Italian fans have been the best punters.
When hosts Germany lost their semi-final to Italy, Haki Simsek, the owner of Artemis, Germany's largest brothel, said: "I know I shouldn't be happy, but it's the best result imaginable for business.
"The Italians love coming here, they are great customers and we are all so happy they are in the final."
Artemis worker Svetlana noted: "It's been a total flop. The fans are all celebrating with beer instead of sex."
But for her colleague Marlene, the Italian fans had saved the day. "After a win they are in a great mood and love celebrating with us, and after a bad game they need comforting."
There'll have been plenty of celebrating after last night – although whether disgraced French star Zinedine Zidane needed comforting or some strict discipline is open to debate.
But imagine if you will, what would happen in similar circumstances in the UK.
Given that Home Office minister Fiona Mactaggart declared a policy of "zero tolerance" toward prostitution last year, likening it to "a form of child abuse" on the grounds that "most women who are prostitutes started being prostitutes at the age of 13 or 14", she would presumably launch a crusade to 'rescue' Marlene and Svetlana, whilst prosecuting Simsek and all the customers.
"Frankly," Mactaggart told a Guardian interviewer, "I do not buy the view that it is the oldest profession and we have to live with it."
She had already made it clear that, amongst other punishments, kerbcrawlers themselves can have their driving licences revoked.
But this is no one-sided attack. In April, Hansard reported Home Office minister Hazel Blears refusing to rule out the possibility of ASBOs (Anti-Social Behaviour Orders) being used against working women.
Now, to be fair to the government, it has suggested that it might legalise brothels. Well, "brothel" in the loosest sense of the word, meaning a flat or house where two women work. No more, of course, because that would become like... errr, a brothel.
Let's get this straight, then. No 'brothels' for more than two women. No working the streets. No 'tolerance zones'. Euphemistically-named 'massage parlours' to be targeted.
That leaves the…
Correct. Under ground. And then, when the government has driven the sex industry there, it can presumably claim that it's achieved what nobody else in history has, by getting rid of prostitution altogether. That'll be a bit like getting rid of Saddam, right?
How this is going to make the sex industry safer for women (male prostitutes never get mentioned, so presumably their safety isn't a matter of concern), never mind the punters, is anybody's guess.
According to statistics from the United Nations, for the years 1998-2000, the UK is in 13th spot on a global list of reported rapes per capita, with the highest level anywhere in western Europe at 0.142172 rapes per 1,000 people. Germany, with its legal brothels, is at 24 with 0.0909731 per 1,000 people. At 46, with 0.0402045 per 1,000 people, is Italy, whose football fans are such great customers, but who, in Mactaggart's world, are practically child abusers and, presumably, have no respect for women.
And to add to the picture, at 22 in the chart lies the Netherlands, that modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah, with 0.100445 rapes per 1,000 people.
Are puritanical attitudes toward sex and the sex industry a contributory factor in the high level of rape? Is it a coincidence that countries with more liberal attitudes are lower down the list?
If the government really wants to protect women, they'd do better to legalise and licence the sex industry, instead of pandering to the 'moral' minority and the shrill voices of the Daily Mail and the Express. But don't hold your breath.
So, unless British puritanism takes a Zidane-like butt to the midriff in the meantime, Italian sporting connoisseurs attending the 2012 Olympics will have to restrict their celebrations to the traditional English hobbies of boozing and brawling.
posted by Amanda Kendal at 11:36 am
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